While I've never been a fan of Umaga or the whole gimmick, I didn't expect this suddenly happening, especially just a day after his match with CM Punk at the Extreme Rules PPV.



'World Wrestling Entertainment has come to terms on the release of SmackDown Superstar Umaga as of today, June 8, 2009. WWE wishes Umaga the best in all future endeavors.'

First Kennedy, now Umaga? What the hell are these guys doing backstage?

... On second thought, seeing as both of them were involved in the Signature Pharmacy scandal of a few years ago, I don't think I want to know.

And, on a side note, apparently Vickie Guerrero's profile has been removed from the RAW roster page. Dare I actually hope?

So it may be old news, but for the sake of making a semi-interesting post I'll put it up anyway. A few days ago my mom told me that David Carradine was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok. She also went on to say that the word 'suicide' was being thrown around, as he was found naked in the closet with a rope around his neck.

Uh, after hearing that, I wasn't quite thinking 'suicide'. It was more like 'kinky' with low red lights, funky music and someone yelling 'Bom-chika-wa-WA' in the background. As it turns out my guess was right, along with millions of other people who probably thought of the first plausible reason for that type of death - erotci asphyxiation. Following reports from Carradine's fourth wife who said that the actor enjoyed 'deviant sexual behavior' (no duh, I guess), it does seem the likely cause.

I was pretty sure that Carradine couldn't have been the first person to have accidentally offed himself in this way, so I went looking for other persons of note. A quick scan at Wikipedia offered these other cases:

> The first recorded case was of a composer named Frantisek Kotzwara in 1791, possibly launching copycats who thought 'Hey, that sounds kinda fun; let's give it a try'.

> Michael Hutchence, formerly the lead singer of INXS, was initially rumored to have died in this manner, but it was eventually ruled as suicide in 1997.

And, my favorite:

> In 1936 Sada Abe of Tokyo, Japan, erotically asphyxiated her lover and then cut off his genitalia, which she then carried around in her handbag for several days. She caused widespread panic and has since spawned a sort of legacy since her disappearance in 1970.

So what was my point here? None, really. I'm still racking my brain for a good 'Kill Bill' joke here (I'm feeling a bit crass today). Anyone heard any good ones lately?

Then again, here's a nice tidbit I just found out that has ruined the rest of my week.

Following reports of Mr Kennedy injuring his wrist during last RAW's main event (the nth one he's had since he's joined the company), WWE posted this pleasant little shocker:



'World Wrestling Entertainment has come to terms on the release of Raw Superstar Mr. Kennedy (Ken Kennedy) as of today, May, 29 2009. WWE wishes Ken the best in all future endeavors.'

NNNOOOO...!! I had such hopes for this guy! And it took them all of, what, five days to come to this decision??

Score another for TNA. I believe I hear Jeff Jarrett dialing this very minute; I mean, hey, he hired Nash, right?

Wow, haven't touched this in ages. And yet, there really is nothing much to write about, life-wise.

Got a second job at the accounts section of a nearby medical center. With the threat of swine flu (Doom! Panic! Or so they say!) seemingly around the corner, it may not have been the best move. Chasing up institutional payers and patients on outstanding accounts is also not a walk in the park. I'll stick out for about three months or so and then start looking around again.

Have a spiffy new laptop, which I am predictably using as the ultimate time-waster instead of something more worthwhile, like studying, I guess. O-Gee got my old (but still comfortingly reliable) PC, which is otherwise dubbed as the 'download computer'. Oh yeah.

Speaking of O-Gee, I hear her singing Utada Hikaru songs at the top of her lungs, quite audible through the wall that separates us. 'Scuse me while I bang on it and yell for her to shut up.

Back again. Lessee, what else... Oh, have tried to make a spreadsheet calculating every single one of my expenses, as I've started to worry that I've been spending way too much on stuff like clothes and recreational stuff. It turns out I was right to worry.

Forty-five minutes to TNA Impact. Feel kinda sleepy, but want to power through because I believe I read somewhere that Victoria was going to be there.

Have an exam on Tuesday and so I really need to get in gear and CRAM. Procrastination is a bitch. 'What's the use of a brain without ambition behind it?' I've lost track of how many times I've been asked that, me talking to myself included.

Mmm, I think I've rambled enough. Enjoy what's left of Saturday.

And here is a random video. Personally I find this more sad and disturbing than funny, but I suppose it's all about perception...

Fanfiction.net has not been able to let its users log in to the site for going on three days now. This is the message I've been getting:

'Login/submission area is currently inaccessible due to a technical glitch. We apologize for the brief inconvenience. Please come back in a few minutes.'

Mm-hmm. Rumor has it that the site gods are doing another major upheaval and running a fine toothed comb through the unbelievable tangle of God knows what has infested that place.

So it's about half an hour since the Academy Awards finished, and while the average smark wouldn't care much about the outcomes, this is possibly the first year that all of us sat up to see exactly who would take the gong for Best Actor. Since the awards season began, the game has ultimately boiled down to two competitors, Sean Penn for Milk and Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler, while Brad Pitt, Frank Langella and Richard Jenkins were, I can only suspect, added to pad out the remainder of the nominees.

Prior to the Academy Awards, this was the tally:
Mickey Rourke's has been, deadbeat dad, wrestler Randy 'The Ram' Robinson - 14 awards (Golden Globe, BAFTA, Independent Spirit Award, and various other Film Critic Association Awards)
Sean Penn's openly gay politician Harvey Milk - 8 awards (SAG and various other Film Critic Association Awards)
Plus the two tied for BSFC (Boston Society of Film Critics) Best Actor Award... I didn't even know that was permissible, but ah well...

What I hadn't known was that Rourke engaged in what can only be called a petty campaign to pull Penn down, calling him a 'homophobe' and labeling his performance in Milk as 'average'. Apparently it's all over now after Rourke apologized to Penn, but I for one am still getting amusing if not slightly disturbing thoughts of the two as their respective characters settling their differences in the ring. And if Vince McMahon somehow arranges that for Wrestlemania 25 with Jericho as the special guest referee, I don't care what it'll cost me, I will hop the first flight out to Houston in order to scavenge for a front-row ticket.

Now that Mickey Rourke has lost the Oscar, it seems that the rumors of him going to Wrestlemania have intensified. Interestingly enough on Rourke's profile at the IMDB website, he is billed to make an appearance. What his actual level of involvement in the event will be I don't know, but since I was against this angle from the beginning, I can only pray it won't be a lot. (And wasn't Rourke told that Vince hated The Wrestler?)

Now to see how this is handled on RAW. Ah, pro-wrestling and Hollywood... let us both revel in the pretentiousness.

With the rumors of a fourth Terminator movie, Linda Hamilton has given an interview in which she states the reasons for her non-involvement in the third movie. In her version she says that she was initially offered a part, but turned it down because Sarah Connor died halfway through and became 'negligible'. Jonathan Mostow, the director of T3, claimed that Sarah Connor's character had completed her 'emotional arc' in the first two movies and so Hamilton was not included in the movie. I'm more inclined to believe in the former.

I would just like to go on record by saying that I HATED Terminator 3 with a passion. I enjoyed Terminator 2: Judgment Day so much as a kid; I thought Sarah Connor in particular was one of the most awesome female leads ever created in a movie. In T3 when it was stated that she had died of cancer I wanted to choke the stranger to my left. Add to that the repackaged vehicle chase/crash from the last movie and the end where Judgment Day still befalls the human race rendering the previous movie fucking INVALID, and I was ready to hunt down the incompetent other director who dared fuck with the franchise. Jesus wept, I should have taken the absence of both Hamilton and James Cameron as a big fucking warning.

But the idea of a T4 isn't comforting either. I was happy when the series Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles rolled around to make the third movie seem like a bad dream (although I've been neglecting watching much of it), but another movie seems like just a further opportunity to mangle what was once a classic action/sci-fi series.

And I can't believe this, but I only learned now that Linda Hamilton has a twin sister, Leslie, who was her double for T2. Huh... and I always thought it was just more movie magic...

Hmm... slow news week on wrestling-front. Bret Hart stated that he found The Wrestler 'disturbing and disrespectful'. Exactly why I haven't the faintest, as I've found Bret Hart's blogs to be long-winded and confusing and so I've given up on reading any of them. He did say something about giving the devil his due, obviously pertaining to Vince McMahon, and wondering how in the hell the main character of the movie squandered his money and fame. In fact, it seems that the general consensus among those in the business is that the actors did incredible jobs, but the story itself was a little weird and disjointed.

I myself saw The Wrestler on the first day it came out here - January 15, I believe. I winced, I cried, and sometimes I laughed, but once it came to an end I felt a little cold. I had a somewhat difficult time connecting with the movie, and I'm a fan of wrestling; I didn't see how someone who knew nothing about it could appreciate a movie like that. Still critics lauded it, and I doubt all of them were closet smarks.

I heard Mickey Rourke's potential Wrestlemania match against Chris Jericho was canceled for fears that it would hurt Rourke's chances at winning the Oscar for Best Actor. Hell, I was happy; having Jericho carry Rourke through to a victory would have shades of David Arquette winning the WCW Title, and none of us want to see that shit again. Of course we may get Jericho vs Flair, or Jericho vs Roddy Piper, or possibly Jericho vs a string of WWE Hall of Famers. The thought scares me a little.

In other wrestling/movie-related news, Red Light District will release the follow up to One Night in Chyna, imaginatively entitled Another Night in Chyna. Yes, I'm sorry for putting the image into your heads. Hey, I never really got over the first one; no amount of brain bleach could scrub my mind clean again. Who posted those links on Godawful back then... Katy, was it? Yes, damn you and my morbid curiosity.

I catch E's 'The Soup' when I can, seeing as it's the most intelligent thing the channel has to offer, and any appearances of Ryan Seacrest is blessedly accompanied with Joel McHale's deprecating wit. Just hours ago on the show I saw a clip of the Jonas Brothers' performance along with Stevie Wonder at the 2009 Grammy Awards Show. Now the only thing I caught of the Grammys was Coldplay's performance, and I guess I was better off for it.



Now, it just may be me, but when you're performing with a legend of the caliber of Stevie Wonder, you may not want to, I don't know, fuck up the lyrics to one of his classic songs. You know, I'm just saying...

After over a decade, the Simpsons' opening title has finally undergone a major makeover, HD style.

Proving that a horny middle-aged woman is no less stupid than a horny seventeen year old boy.

A forty-five year old woman from Tennesee has been charged with four counts of statutory rape after she repeatedly called her underaged lover's school posing as his mom in order to pull him out of class and get her rocks off, for lack of a less squicky term. Nobody really noticed anything wrong as the boy would then bring forged doctor's notes after his frequent absences, which I suppose was easy, seeing as the woman was a medical assistant.

While the whole event is weird in itself, it's made all the more dumber considering the boy was LIVING with the woman and her husband for this period of time. What, they couldn't have confined their trysts to out of school hours? I mean six hours of going without it a day can't exactly be depravation, can it?

As for the husband, how could he have not noticed? "So honey, the boy's been pulled out to go to the doctor's again, has he?"

"Oh yeah, he felt really under the weather this morning."

"So exactly what's wrong with him?"

"Uh... he has a bad cold. A REALLY bad cold."

"Oh. Well then shouldn't he be wrapped up in bed instead of playing football with his friends out in the rain right now?"

"Of course, you're right dear! Great idea, I'll put him to bed right now."

Blech. Plus check out the shot of the woman. Yeah, I can see where that would be a turn-on for a seventeen year old boy... if I tilt my head just right, and with the proper lighting, and with possibly one or two dozen bottles of beer... Nah, I still can't get it.

The high school will enforce stricter rules for parents wishing to check their kids out in the future.

Further proof that Ashley Massaro is an absolute fuckwad.